To Love Again
by Gypsy-chan
Summary: Kenshin and Kaoru go into town to enjoy a little entertainment. Kenshin plans to ask Kaoru to marry him. Unfortunately, something happens that causes him to confront his past. Will he allow his past to keep him from having a happy future with Kaoru?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: Rurouni Kenshin and Rurouni Kenshin characters are exclusively owned by Watsuki Nobuhiro, Shueisha, Sony Entertainment, Jump Comics and associated parties. Please note, this is purely fiction and for entertainment purposes only. This story is not meant for sale or profit**. 

Author's Notes: This is a short (two chapter) romance ficcie that takes place shortly after the Kyoto Arc. I got the idea from a scene in Episode 64, "Prince Yahiko's Born? Debut on High Society". K/K are coming back from the theater. Kaoru chides Kenshin for not paying attention during the play or something like that.

**SUMMARY**: Kenshin and Kaoru finally gets to spend some quality time together. They decide to go into town to enjoy a little entertainment. Kenshin hopes to use this occasion to ask Kaoru to marry him. Unfortunately, something happens that causes him to confront his past. Will he allow his past to keep him from having a happy future with Kaoru? (k/k pairing) To Love Again, Romance Fanfiction by Gypsy-chan Enjoy! (Created 7/2004, posted 7/2005)

**TO LOVE AGAIN**  
Part One

"Are you ready Kaoru-dono?"

Sounds of rustling fabric and small feet padding across the hard wooden floor filtered through the thin rice papered shoji.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting Kenshin," she answered swiftly, "I'll be out in a minute."

"Alright Kaoru-dono."

A small smile graced Kenshin's lips as he stood outside Kaoru's room. The woman he loved was on the other side of the shoji preparing herself for an evening out with him. Kenshin walked softly down the hallway to his own room. Upon entering, he went over to the window and carefully removed his sakabatou from the ties of his hakama. He slowly sat in a kneeling position with his arms neatly tucked inside the sleeves of his magenta gi. Kenshin's trusty sakabatou rested against his shoulder in the same manner as when he carried a katana during his younger days as Hitokiri Battousai.

As the rurouni sat patiently awaiting Kaoru's presence, his mind drifted back to the events of that morning. Kenshin and Kaoru was in the marketplace buying fresh fish, vegetables and tofu. After purchasing the food items, they passed by a quaint little kimono shop. Kaoru stopped mid-stride turning her head back to look at the kimonos. Kenshin smiled as he watched the raven-haired girl staring wide-eyed at all the colorful kimonos prominently displayed in the window. He knew she wanted to go inside the kimono shop, but she seemed hesitant. Kenshin offered to go in with her but Kaoru shook her head and smiled politely, telling him she only brought enough money to buy food for their dinner. The red-haired swordsman reached inside the sleeves of his gi, pulled out his money pouch and handed it to her. He told Kaoru to use the money to buy a new kimono. She refused at first saying that she could buy a kimono another time. Kenshin, however, insisted she take the money. He felt the price of a new kimono was the least he could do for the courageous young girl who opened her home and her heart to a stranger. His lips curled in anticipation as he sat imagining how Kaoru would look in her new kimono. At that moment, loud heavy footsteps began to echo down the hallway toward Kenshin's room. The ruroni knew exactly who those footsteps belonged to.

"Geez Kenshin," Yahiko grumbled upon entering the room, "You're still here? I don't understand what's taking that ugly girl so long. She's kept you waiting for over two hours!"

Kenshin smiled knowingly at his young protégé. The inexperienced youth had a lot to learn about women and patience.

"Sessha doesn't mind waiting on Kaoru-dono, that he does not."

"Well if I were you, I would just leave her," he stated matter-of-factly after flopping down beside the red-headed swordsman. "Then she'll remember not to keep you waiting so long the next time you take her out."

"You better not let Tsubame here you say that," replied a tall spiky haired young man who suddenly appeared leaning against the frame of Kenshin's shoji. "She won't give you any more hand outs."

Yahiko blushed furiously at the intruder of his conversation. "Shut up you big dumb roosterhead! Nobody was talking to you!"

The lanky young man strolled over to Kenshin, ignoring the flustered junior samurai. "Oi Kenshin, you and jou-chan going out?"

"Yes, we're going to the theater to see a play. Would you like to come with us Sanosuke?"

"Naah," he said waving it off with his hands, "those plays are always too long and boring. I've already promised my buddies I'd have a few drinks with them before we go gambling." He pulled out a fishbone and stuck it in his mouth. "What about the brat, is he going too?"

Yahiko scowled at him. "Hey! Who are you calling brat, you big chickenhead!"

"Honestly, can't you two ever stop fighting," Kaoru remarked as she suddenly appeared outside of Kenshin's shoji.

The two bickering youths came to an abrupt halt once the young kendo instructor entered the room. All eyes were now fixed upon the beautiful raven-haired girl standing before them. Kaoru was dressed in a magenta colored furisode with white yamabuki blossoms embroidered on the back and along the hemline. Her obi was white with traces of pink sakura petals. Kaoru's hair was not in its usual pony tail. It was swept high upon her head forming an elegant chignon. Several pearl combs were used to keep her long silky tresses in the tightly wrapped bun. Wisps of bangs and long tendrils of hair framed her delicate face perfectly.

Sano glanced over to the red-haired swordsman and smiled inwardly. Kenshin was clearly entranced by the beautiful young girl who suddenly graced his presence. Her transformation from sweaty tomboy to sensual young woman was far more than he had ever expected. Kaoru blushed furiously upon catching the object of her affection staring at her. She quickly averted her eyes toward the floor. Sano shook his head at the hopeless couple.

"Oi Kenshin, don't just sit there gawking, tell jou-chan how nice she looks."

The red-headed swordsman was suddenly pulled out of his trance upon hearing his name being called. He turned into Sano's direction, arching his brow and blinking twice at his best friend.

"Oro?"

Kaoru stared over to Kenshin in disappointment. She was hoping for once to hear him compliment her on the way she looked in her new kimono. Instead, he seemed to revert to his usual rurouni manner, masking his feelings with a simple "oro". Sano noticed how disheartened Kaoru was over the matter. He glared at his clueless friend and began muttering curses under his breath as he stomped into his direction.

"Kenshin you baka," he raised his foot and put it on top of Kenshin's fiery red mane. "Why are you always so clueless!" He pushed Kenshin's head down to the floor with his foot causing the swirly-eyed rurouni to let out a small yelp. Kaoru gasped as she watched Kenshin lying helplessly under Sano's big foot. She quickly rushed to his side.

"Get off him you big dumb jerk!" The fiery kendo instructor punched the ex-fighter for higher so hard that he went flying across the room. She quickly lifted Kenshin's head off the floor.

"Are you alright," she asked as she cradled Kenshin's face between her hands. He smiled while gazing into deep pools of sapphire. Always worried, always concerned over his well being he thought. The words he tried suppressing earlier finally seemed to bubble forth.

"You look lovely in your new kimono Kaoru-dono, that you do. This one humbly apologize for not saying so earlier, that he does."

Kaoru's cheeks glowed. "Thank you Kenshin," she smiled brightly. "You look very nice too." This time it was the rurouni's turn to blush. Yahiko looked between the two and rolled his eyes.

"Eww...," He stuck his finger inside his mouth, pretending to gag, "I think I'm going to be sick!"

"Let's go punk," Sano orderd after marching over to Yahiko and lifting him off the floor by the gi. "You're always getting in the way." He tossed the junior samurai over his broad shoulders. Yahiko began to kick about and shout from under Sano's vice-like grip.

"Hey! Put me down you big chickehead!"

"Sano, where are you..."

"Don't worry little buddy," he replied cutting Kenshin off mid-sentence. "I'm going to drop the brat off at the Akabeko. I'm sure Miss Tae could find something to keep him busy for a while."

"Thank you Sanosuke," Kenshin sighed, dipping his head in appreciation. "Sessha prepared dinner if you'd like to have some later." He then turned his attention back to Kaoru. "Shall we be going Kaoru-dono?"

Kaoru nodded in response. By the time they reached the front gate, Sano and Yahiko were already in the kitchen fighting over the meal Kenshin had prepared for them. As the sounds of their fighting grew louder, the feisty kendo instructor frowned and turned back toward the kitchen ready to intervene. The ex-hitokiri quickly grasped the sleeve of her kimono and shook his head. She gave him a puzzling look.

"Don't worry Kaoru-dono," he reassured while gently placing his hand in the small of her back to escort her out the dojo gate. "Sanosuke and Yahiko-chan will be alright, that they will."

Kaoru sighed defeatedly. "I suppose you're right. However, if I come back and find food thrown all over my kitchen, they're both going to pay!"

Kenshin chuckled inwardly as he pictured the feisty young kendo teacher chasing after Sano and Yahiko with her bokken.

As the couple walked along the path heading for town, Kaoru slipped her hand inside her bag and took out a small newspaper clipping featuring the play they were going to see. Her eyes skimmed through the article until it reached a section she was familar with. Kaoru happily talked to Kenshin about the various acts and characters scheduled to perform. She mentioned how the play they were going to see was written by Monzaemon Chikamatsu, who was often called the "Shakespeare of Japan". Kenshin nodded his head every once in a while to show that he was listening. However, in truth, his attention was fixed on something else. He seemed to be fascinated by the way the sleeves of Kaoru's furisode swayed back and forth as she walked along side him. He found himself blushing furiously as improper thoughts flooded into his mind. The rurouni quickly chided himself for thinking such inappropriate things about someone so virtuous. He knew the feisty young kendo teacher was totally clueless as to proper Japanese etiquette for women. If a single young woman swayed the sleeves of her kimono in front of a man it was considered a form of flirtation. Kaoru obviously didn't know how she was affecting the rurouni. She paused mid-stride after noticing that Kenshin had stopped walking and was now standing several feet behind her.

"Kenshin," she asked turning back to face him, "is anything wrong?"

"S-sessha is fine Kaoru-dono, that he is." Kenshin kicked himself mentally after seeing the concerned expression on her face. He felt bad for making her worry over him. As Kaoru grew near, a gentle breeze caused her sleeves to sway ever so softly. Kenshin turned crimson in color when he saw her sleeves swaying again. He quickly averted his eyes from hers hoping she wouldn't notice the blush that crept upon his face.

"Are you sure you are alright," she asked as she approached him. Before he could respond, Kaoru had taken the back of her hand and pressed it to his forehead. "Hmmmm... You seem a little flushed. If you're not feeling well, we can always go back home. I really don't mind Kenshin."

"Pl--please do not worry over sessha Kaoru-dono," he stammered trying to keep himself under restraint. The softness of her touch and the sweet aroma of her perfume nearly pushed him over the edge. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her into his arms and kiss her soft succulent lips. But he knew such actions would most likely frighten the poor girl. He politely stepped back and dipped his head in response.

"Thank you for your concern Kaoru-dono. Sessha is fine now. We must hurry if we want good seats, that we should," he finished with a quaint rurouni smile.

Kaoru's hand fell to her side. She cocked her head slightly, still unsure of the rurouni's peculiar behavior.

"Kenshin... Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes Kaoru-dono," he answered, noticing how she seemed to be scrutinizing every word coming from his mouth. "Sessha is well. Please do not continue to worry yourself over this one." Kenshin quietly pivoted on his heels, leaving Kaoru standing in deep thought.

_"Hmmm... I wonder what is bothering Kenshin? He seemed alright earlier, but now he's acting strange. Maybe I should..."_

Kaoru paused in mid-thought after realizing Kenshin was no longer standing by her side.

"Kenshin?"

"We must hurry Kaoru-dono," Kenshin answered from a distance, "the play will be starting shortly."

Kaoru nodded in response while picking up her pace in order to catch up with Kenshin. In the back of her mind, however, she made a mental note to question Kenshin over his strange behavior once they returned home.

Twenty minutes later, Kenshin and Kaoru had arrived at the Kabuki theater in town. Kaoru's lips curved upward at the response she received while passing by various couples. Her choice in colors, magenta kimono and white obi, complimented Kenshin's favorite magenta gi and white hakama. It gave onlookers the impression that they too were a couple. As Kaoru turned her head to look for seats, the rurouni stood quietly observing those around him.

_"I see behind your masks. The look of contempt is etched on all of your wary faces. The sight of someone like me associating with someone as blameless as she must be the talk of town. Yet, in her own innocence, she stands loyally by my side oblivious to your unwarranted stares. When you look at her, she smiles proudly back at you as if to say that I was someone of great honor. I know this unworthy one does not deserve such high honors. However, if she accepts this one for the man that I am, then who are all of you to condemn us."_

"There's two seats over there," Kaoru said tugging at Kenshin's gi, bringing him out of his inner musings. "We better hurry and get them. It's pretty crowded today."

"Hai, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin replied with a quick dip of his head.

While they were seated, Kaoru excitedly turned to Kenshin and began whispering how she couldn't wait for the play to start. She mention how being at the play reminded her of the times when her grandfather brought her as a young girl. As Kaoru leaned closer, Kenshin sighed contentedly as the sweet aroma of her perfume penetrated his nostrils. Suddenly, the sound of the shime daiko drum began to play. The audience quieted down knowing that the sound of the drum signalled the beginning of the performance. The first actor was revealed once the black and green colored curtains were drawn. As he stepped forward the _Mawari-butai_, revolving stage, produced more actors.

Kaoru's eyes lit up as she watched the actors clad in their brillant colors moving about the stage. Kenshin however, sat passively next to her. His mind had wandered a thousand miles away. He began reflecting on a conversation he had with his master, Seijurou Hiko, shortly after his battle with Makoto Shishio. Kenshin was standing in front of Tomoe's grave when Hiko approached him. The two men conversed briefly before Kenshin followed his master back to his hut.

**

FLASHBACK

**

"It's been a while since you've visited her grave," Hiko said as he poured sake into a flat sake cup and handed it to his former student.

"Yes," Kenshin sighed tiredly after accepting the cup from his master, "I know. I should have come sooner."

"You should have," Hiko repeated as he raised the sake cup to his lips.

The two men sat quietly, each lost in his own thoughts. Several droplets of rain began to fall against the door to Hiko's hut. Kenshin turned his gaze out the window.

"It's beginning to rain," he uttered while staring blankly out the window. "I should be heading back to the Aoiya."

"Yes go," came Hiko's curt reply. "I don't want those friends of yours coming here breaking down my door again."

Kenshin glared at his master as he rose to his feet. Hiko smirked inwardly upon seeing his baka deshi's response. He truly enjoyed intimidating him. As Kenshin neared the door, Hiko threw a small pouch at him, hitting the back of his head.

"Shishou," he hollered while rubbing the back of his head.

Hiko shook his head and frowned at his former apprentice. "You were suppose to catch it baka."

Kenshin grumbled as he bent down to pick up the small pouch Hiko had tossed at him.

"Don't just stand there holding the pouch, open it!"

Kenshin let out an exaperated sigh as he complied with his master's demands. After pouring the content of the pouch into the palm of his hand, Kenshin stared up at his master wondering why he had given him such a thing.

"Shishou... I don't understand?"

Hiko rolled his eyes at the clueless swordsman. "You truly are a baka. Sit," he commanded, "and I will explain."

A large scowl grew on Kenshin's face as he reluctantly knelt before his master. Hiko poured himself another cup of sake as he began his explanation.

"The ring you hold in your hand once belonged to my wife."

Kenshin jerked his head up. "Wife?" Kenshin stared wide-eyed at the sparkling piece of jewlery in his hand and then back at his master. "You were married?

"Baka, do you think you were the only one who married young?" He popped Kenshin on the head.

"Shishou!" Kenshin sat pouting and rubbing his swore head.

"Pay attention," he ordered, "Or I'll start telling stories about how you use to wet the futon."

Kenshin glowered at his insensitive master for resurrecting such an embarrassing part of his past.

"Now that I have your undivided attention, I'll continue with my story." Hiko smirked at his errant student's response as he went on to relate his personal experience.

"It was an arranged marriage. I was 15 and my wife was 14. Her name was Hiroyuki Hisayo. She was a pretty young girl who grew into a beautiful young woman. We were very much in love..." (Kenshin still can't imagine his master being married. Hiko kicks him while conitnuing to relate the story.)

"... on our fifth wedding anniversary, we went into town to celebrate. After a fine dinner we stopped by a local merchant's stand. I told my dear wife to choose whatever she wanted. She scanned through all the items on the merchant's table and stopped when she saw the ring. The merchant told us it was imported from Holland, then he proceed to tell me how much it cost. I really didn't have that much money at the time but I wasn't going to let that stop me from buying what my beloved wife wanted. I asked her to wait for me as I went to speak with the merchant privately. As the merchant and I were making payment arrangements, my wife had wandered several stalls down. She was admiring the ribbons on the table of another merchant. At that moment, several masked bandits began robbing the merchants. They slashed at anyone who stood in their way. My poor wife tried to run but was cut down like a dog by one of the bandits. When I reached her side she was barely breathing. A doctor nearby began treating her wounds. She died several days later. I swore on the day my wife died, that I would avenge the innocent from the murderous dogs who preyed on them. For three years I traveled through poor sections of town, killing off bandits and those who preyed upon the weak. After a while, I found myself become tired of the killings. I...

As Hiko continued his story, Kenshin began to reflect upon the fateful incident that brought Hiko into his life as a young boy.

_"Who are you," asks one of the bandits._

"No point in introducing myself to the dead," replies Hiko after having killed the other bandits.

Young Shinta watches as Hiko's sword slashes the last of the bandits. The bad man slumps to the ground and dies.

"Fate brought us here," Hiko says. "I've avenged their deaths. Nothing can ever bring back the dead. Be thankful you survived boy..."

The 13th Master of Hiten Mitsurugi cleans his sword from the blood of the slain. The young boy watches as his savior fades away.

Hiko recalls his own thoughts at the time he met the young red haired boy he renamed Kenshin.

_"The smell of blood is in the air. It's an insult to be killed like dogs or sold as a concubine. This is regrettably common for now and ever. Perhaps, this is how it will remain."_

When I found you, I felt there was a small chance of hope for peace," Hiko said bringing Kenshin out of his inner musings. "But then you ran off and made a complete fool of yourself."

Kenshin casts his head towards the ground.

"We cannot reclaim the past," Hiko says as he sips more sake, "However, we're in a peaceful era now and it's time for you to move on Kenshin. That is why I want you to have the ring. Give it to the girl who came all the way from Tokyo to see you."

Kenshin quickly protests. "But Shishou, sessha can't accept..."

"I have no need for it," Hiko said in reply. "It's time you start living your life instead of going around feeling sorry for youself."

Knowing how stubborn his master could be, Kenshin decided to accept his gift. He humbly prostrated himself before his master. "Arigatou Shishou." When he raised his head, a several tears trickled down his face. "Sessha will never forget your kindness."

Hiko rolled his eyes at his errant student. "I hate when you start getting mushy. Leave baka, before I kick you off my mountain."

**

END OF FLASHBACK

**

Kaoru suddenly nudged the red haired swordsman sitting next to her.

_"Kenshin... Kenshin!"_

He blinked twice, trying to focus his attention back to his surroundings.

"Hai Kaoru-dono?"

Kaoru narrowed her eyes at him. "Kenshin no baka," she scolded in an undertone, "Stop daydreaming and pay attention! You're missing the best part of the play."

"Hai Kaoru-dono." He quickly sat tall in his seat and cast his eyes upon the stage.

Several actors appeared on stage wearing clothing similar to the style worn by members of the Shinsengumi during the Bakamatsu. They began fighting another group dressed in the style of the Choushuu faction. Suddenly the stage grew quiet as a young man wearing a blue gi and white hakama appeared. He wore his hair high in a pony tail and had a single slash on his left cheek. Kenshin's body grew numb as he watched the young man on stage pretend to slice through his victims. One by one, they fell by the young man's side with only one stroke. A father and son sitting in front of Kaoru began whispering amongst themselves.

"Father, who is the man on stage suppose to be," asked a ten year old boy.

"He is playing the part of Hitokiri Battousai, the 'man of legends'," the father answered. "Battousai-san was truly a man to be feared during the days of the Revolution."

_"Hitokiri Battousai,"_ the boy repeated quietly as he fixed his gaze back on stage. After watching a few more moves of the one portraying Battousai, the young boy became more curious. He questioned his father again.

"Father, if Battousai-san fought in the revolution, would that not make him a hero?"

"No son," the boy's father answered sadly. "Hitokiri Battousai was not a hero. He lurked in the shadows like a wild beast waiting to kill his prey. Many innocent men, women and children died by his hand. He was nothing more than a cold-hearted murderer who enjoyed spilling the blood of men."

The boy stared wide eyed at the man on stage and mumbled, "He enjoyed spilling the blood of men."

The young boy's mother glanced over to her son. She put her finger to her mouth signalling him to quiet down and watch the play. The boy quickly dipped his head in apology to his mother before focusing his attention back on stage. After hearing the father's conversation with his son, Kenshin touched the patch on his left cheek covering the cross-shaped scar. He lowered his head and sighed inwardly.

_"Udo Jin-eh was right. My true nature is only that of the Hitokiri."_

The words Jin-eh spoke to him before his death came back to mind.

_'A Hitokiri is a Hitokiri until death, after all. No one else can change this.  
I'll watch you from the abyss of hell to see how long you can wander as a vagabond."_

_"No matter how hard I try, I will never be nothing more than a murderer."_

Kaoru could sense Kenshin's troubled ki. She became heated by the negative things the man told his son about Kenshin. If only she had her bokken, she would have pounded some sense into that man. Kenshin was a hero. It was he who brought forth the peaceful era that they were all enjoying. However, at that moment, there was something more important on her mind. That was her red-haired rurouni.

"Kenshin?"

He looked away, his eyes melancholy. Kaoru felt pained to her heart as she watched him.

"Kenshin... Are you alright?"

The rurouni suddenly turned to her and smiled. "Sessha is fine Kaoru-dono, that he is."

Kaoru frowned at his weak response before reprimanding him. "You don't have to pretend with me Kenshin."

The weary swordsman heaved a long sigh. He knew no matter how hard he tried, he could never fool the young raven-haired girl. She was the only person who could see through his facade.

"Please don't worry about about this unworthy one Kaoru-dono. You should enjoy the play, that you should."

Kaoru face softened at his unselfish response. "How can I enjoy myself when I know you're hurting inside. Let's go home."

Before he could object, Kaoru stood and began making her way through the aisle. Kenshin followed in tow, feeling guilty for ruining their evening out. The walk home was long and silent. By the time they entered the dojo gates, Kenshin was already on the steps leading into the house.

"Kenshin," she intoned lightly, "You seem distracted on the way home. Is there something you wish to talk about?"

The red-haired swordsman turned and smiled sadly in response before walking away from her. Tears streamed down the broken hearted girl's face after watching the man she loved revert back to his former ways.

_"Why must you always close your heart to me whenever you are faced with your past?"_

TO BE CONTINUED...

**GLOSSARY AND NOTES:**

_Hanamichi_, or flower-walk ramp: This is a passageway connecting the left side of the stage with the back of the hall through the spectators' seats at about head level of the audience. It provides a way for the actors' entrances and exits.

_Mawari-butai_, or revolving stage: First invented in Japan nearly 300 years ago (used in 1758), this device was later introduced abroad. It makes rapid changes of scene possible without interrupting the sequence of the plot.

_Kurogo_, (man in black): They handle properties on the stage while the curtain is open and serve also as prompters. They are not characters in the play and the audience is supposed to disregard them.

Hiko's thoughts, excerpts from Tsuioken Hen Arc: Act 1 "A Man Who Kills".

**Author's Notes:** Hi Minna! Haven't put a new ficcie in this zone in a long time. Hope you are enjoying it. Anyhoo, I want to make a quick comment on the Kabuki play I wrote in this chapter. It was written just for fun and not real facts. I did a little research on Kabuki plays. I found that there are two different styles, Historical drama (_jidai-mono_) and Domestic drama (_sewa-mono_). The historical dramas tried to avoid being too political for fear of being reprimanded by the government. The Domestic dramas dealt with commoners and everyday type drama. Okay, that's it for the history lesson. Next and final chapter will be posted soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: Rurouni Kenshin and Rurouni Kenshin characters are exclusively owned by Watsuki Nobuhiro, Shueisha, Sony Entertainment, Jump Comics and associated parties. Please note, this is purely fiction and for entertainment purposes only. This story is not meant for sale or profit**. 

Author's Notes: This is a short (two chapter) romance ficcie that takes place shortly after the Kyoto Arc. I got the idea from a scene in Episode 64, "Prince Yahiko's Born? Debut on High Society". K/K are coming back from the theater. Kaoru chides Kenshin for not paying attention during the play or something like that.

**SUMMARY**: Kenshin and Kaoru finally gets to spend some quality time together. They decide to go into town to enjoy a little entertainment. Kenshin hopes to use this occasion to ask Kaoru to marry him. Unfortunately, something happens that causes him to confront his past. Will he allow his past to keep him from having a happy future with Kaoru? (k/k pairing) To Love Again, Romance Fanfiction by Gypsy-chan Enjoy! (Created 7/2004, posted 7/2005)

**LYRICS DISCLAIMER:** Don't own "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" by Green Day, even though I just love that song!

**TO LOVE AGAIN**  
Part Two

The next morning, Kaoru was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Yahiko entered the room as she set the table. A large scowl grew upon his face as he observed Kaoru spooning a large portion of rice into his bowl.

"Hey ugly, what's that stuff?"

"It's your breakfast brat," she remarked while plopping more of the overcooked rice into his dish. "You don't have to eat it you know."

"Where's Kenshin?" he asked scanning the room for signs of the rurouni. "Why isn't he making breakfast?"

"I... don't know," she answered quietly.

"Maybe he is still asleep," the junior samurai supplied. "Did you check his room?"

"Yes," she nodded sadly, "But he wasn't there."

Yahiko stared at her in disbelief. "Not in his room?"

Kaoru didn't respond. She sat staring blankly into her bowl. The spikey haired youth noted her expression. He began to worry over the whereabouts of his mentor and best friend.

_"Why is Kaoru acting so strangely? It's not like Kenshin left us again. This is his home now. He said so when he returned from Kyoto after his battle with Makoto Shishio. So,... where could he be?"_

He knitted his brow together while peering into Kaoru's direction. "Hey... Did you two have a fight or something?"

"Little kids should not meddle in the affairs of grown ups," remarked Sano as he entered the kitchen.

Yahiko leered up at the tall street fighter. "I wasn't talking to you rooster head!" Sano glared daggers at the junior samurai.

"Sanosuke," Kaoru quickly intervened, "Have you seen Kenshin?"

"Yeah, he's down by the river," Sano answered matter-of-factly. He then knelt beside Kaoru at the low table and spooned himself a bowl of miso soup and rice.

"Down by the river," Kaoru repeated, placing a hand over her heart.

"Don't worry jou-chan," he mumbled through a mouth full of rice. "Kenshin is probably catching us fish for dinner. I'm sure he'll be back soon."

Kaoru smiled slightly and dipped her head to the ex-fighter for hire. "Thank you Sanosuke." She rose from her seated position. "I have a class to teach across town today. Yahiko," she turned her gaze upon her rebellious student, "remember to practice the lessons I taught yesterday. You **will** be tested thoroughly when I return."

"Yeah, yeah whatever," came his brusque reply. As Yahiko reached for the last rice ball, Sano quickly grabbed his hand.

"Hey that's mine you little punk!"

"Let me go you big chicken head!"

Kaoru heaved a sigh at the two bickering youths. She pivoted on her heels and padded down the hallway to her room. While changing into her training gi and hakama, the fiery kendo instructor's thoughts drifted upon a certain red-headed swordsman.

_"Kenshin seemed very subdued during dinner last night. He barely spoke two words to me. After washing the dishes, he mentioned that he was tired and simply went to his room. However, when I peeked inside his room this morning, I noticed his futon hadn't been slept in. His room looked so empty. I wonder has he... left me behind again?"_

Tears trickled down her face at the thought of Kenshin never coming back.

_"No, I'm not going to think like that. Kenshin probably needed some time to himself. It must have been horrible watching that actor portraying him as Hitokiri Battousai on stage. I'm sure it wasn't easy for Kenshin either having to hear that man tell his son that he was a cold blooded murderer. What a jerk! I can't believe he sat their telling his son that Kenshin enjoyed spilling the blood of innocent people. Baka! He's just like all the rest. Blaming Kenshin for all the evil committed during those harsh days. I'm sure that's why Kenshin is down by the river. He has a lot of things to sort out within his mind and heart."_

Kaoru brushed back the stray tears that had fallen upon her cheeks.

_"I must hurry into town to teach my class. I want to be here when Kenshin returns. Maybe he will be ready to talk with me."_

She quickly left the dojo and headed across town to her teaching assignment. 

Down by the river, Kenshin sat with his back pressed against the trunk of a large cherry blossom tree. He began reflecting upon the events of the prior day. He and Kaoru finally had an opportunity to spend some quality time together. As he sat next to the woman he loved, Kenshin was making plans on how he would ask for Kaoru's hand in marriage. Unfortunately, everything came to an abrupt halt upon tuning into a conversation he had overheard between a young boy and his father who sat in front of them. It was a conversation that he couldn't seem to get out of his mind.

**

FLASHBACK

**

_"Father, who is the man on stage suppose to be?"_

"He is playing the part of Hitokiri Battousai, the 'man of legends' my son..."

"Father, if Battousai-san fought in the Revolution, would that not make him a hero?"

"No son, Hitokiri Battousai was not a hero. He lurked in the shadows like a wild beast waiting to kill his prey. Many innocent men, women and children died by his hand. He was nothing more than a cold-hearted murderer who enjoyed spilling the blood of men."

"...enjoyed spilling the blood of men..."

**

END OF FLASHBACK

**

"How could I have been so blind," Kenshin spoke out loud. "Seeing the one portraying me as Hitokiri Battousai only confirms what Shishou said. I was used as pawn in their vicious war games. I should have stayed and finished my training."

Kenshin pulled out the small pouch that Hiko had given him while in Kyoto. He poured the ring into the palm of his hand. Tears trailed down his face as he sat staring down at the sparkling heirloom his master had bestowed upon him.

_"I'm sorry Kaoru. This unworthy one had hoped to live out the rest of his days in peace with you. I know now that all my hopes and dreams of being with you will will never come to pass. A hitokiri is what I am, a hitokiri is what I will always be."_

Kenshin rose to his feet and glanced one last time at the ring that was suppose to bring him happiness. Sighing heavily, he returned the ring into it's pouch and tucked it safely inside the sleeve of his magenta gi. As with his former master, he too had no further use for the precious piece of jewlery.

_"Sayonara Kaoru-dono. Sessha will become a wanderer once more."_

The rurouni secured his Sakabatou within the ties of his hakama before heading on the path leading out of Tokyo.

_I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone_

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone...

In the middle of demonstrating one of her techniques, Kaoru felt a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. She suddenly wrapped her arms around her midsection and dropped to her knees.

_"Kenshin..."_

One of her senior student rushed over to his instructor, noting how pale she had suddenly become.

"Sensei, sensei, are you not well," the teenaged boy anxiously asked.

Kaoru gave him a weak smile. "Hai, hai," she replied while slowly rising to her feet. "I am fine Kazunori-san. I just lost my balance for a moment."

Kazunori raised his brow at her. He had never known his teacher to lose her balance. She always held perfect form and was in control of every move. "You look ill sensei. Are you sure you are alright? I could bring a cup of tea for you to drink."

"No thank you. I am fine now, really." She bowed her thanks for his concern and then turned her attention back to the other students. "Class, we will end the lessons here for today. I have to leave now."

"Would you like for one of us to follow you home," regarded another one of her students.

"Thank you Mabuchi-chan, " she replied resting her hand upon the young boy's shoulder, "but it is not necessary. I will see everyone in a week for your next lesson. Practice hard class."

"Yes Sensei," they all answered in unison.

Kaoru turned to two of her senior students. "Kazunori-san, Tadabumi-san..."

"Yes, Sensei?"

"Please put away the equipment and lock up for me."

They bowed their response to their teacher before carrying out her instructions. Kaoru pivoted on her heels and headed for the door. Once out of the sight of her students, she put her hand to her chest.

_"Why did I react so strangely back there? It's as though I heard Kenshin calling my name. Could something have happened to him? I must hurry home!"_

Kaoru hasten her pace back to the dojo.

Kenshin walked several miles out of town. He cast his weary eyes into the clouds.

_"It will be night fall soon. I should find shelter for the night."_

Taking several steps off the road, he went into the forest. Once there, he noticed a bed of cherry blossom leaves strewn between several large trees. He gathered up the leaves to use as bedding. He groaned inwardly while staring down at his bedding for the night.

_"This is not going to be as comfortable as my futon. I'm really going to miss my room at the Kamiya dojo."_

Kenshin slid his Sakabatou out of his hakama and sat down, resting his back against the tree. As various images of Kaoru flashed inside his mind, stray tears escaped his closed eyelids and trickled down his face.

_"Kaoru-dono, I'm sorry for leaving you behind again. I know I should have told you but I don't think I could bear seeing you hurt again. Please don't be angry."_

A cool breeze suddenly caused the worn-out swordsman to fall into a deep sleep. An hour later, he heard a familar voice whispering his name throughout the forest.

_"Shinta... Shinta..."_

The rurouni blinked twice, adjusting his eyes to the bright light that was instantly thrust upon him.

"Shinta, why are you crying," a young woman asked stepping out of the light.

Kenshin stared wide-eyed at the beautiful young woman. Before he could answer, a second young woman appeared.

"Why are you crying Shinta?"

He turned looking between the two young women he remembered in his youth. "Kasumi... Akane...?"

"Yes," a third woman answered as she knelt beside the startled swordsman. "Why are you so sad? My sisters and I have been watching over you. Have you not found the happiness you have sought for so long?"

Kenshin dropped his head allowing his long bangs to cover his face.

"Yes, but it is not to be. My past is too stained to enjoy such happiness."

Sakura lifted his chin so that he could face her. "Did I not tell you to live on for me Shinta?"

Kenshin shifted his eyes away from hers.

"I am sorry," came his soft sobs, "The sacrifice that all of you made for me was all in vain. I've destroyed so many lives with the life you gave me. It should have been me to die that day instead of all of you."

The older girl pulled the one she once viewed as her little brother into her bosom. "Our deaths were not in vain my dear Shinta," she replied, tenderly stroking his back. "The times that we lived in were truly wicked. Poverty, diease, slavery, death... it was all around us. One could not go unscathed during that era."

"Women were of no value back then," Akane interjected, "our family was very poor. That's how we came to be in the possession of the slavers. They were going to sell us off to a brothel. I would have preferred death instead of the life awaiting us in a brothel."

"That's why we chose to protect you," Kasumi added.

"But I have failed all of you," Kenshin replied as he moved back to face Sakura. "I couldn't protect you back then. I couldn't protect Tomoe or Kaoru-dono when she was kidnapped by Udo Jineh. This unworthy one has wasted the precious blood you spilled." Fresh tears streamed down his face. "Please forgive this one for being such a disappointment."

"No Shinta, you have not disappointed us," Sakura said putting a finger over his lips to hush him. "By means of our blood, you have used your sword to help bring in a new era of peace."

"Everyone today is living in happiness," Akane added, "except the one who needs it the most." She rested her hand upon his heart and smiled slightly. "You don't have to suffer any more Shinta. It's time for you to live on."

_"Live on for us Shinta... ," Kasumi uttered. "Live on."_

A strong wind, unexpectedly began stirring up the cherry blossom leaves that was around the base of the tree Kenshin sat under. He shot up abruptly as the winds grew even stronger. Long locks of his fiery red mane blew into Kenshin's face, blocking his vision. The rurouni strained his eyes in search of the three courageous young girls who saved his life as a boy.

"Kasumi-san! Akane-san! Sakura-san!"

He called to no avail. The three sisters were no where to be found. The winds abruptly halted, causing the bewildered swordsman to wonder whether he had experienced some kind of apparition.

"Was it all a dream," he asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "It all seemed so real."

Kenshin brushed off the dirt from the back of his hakama. The red haired swordsman smiled inwardly as he thought back over his brief encountered with the three young women. After tightening his Sakabatou back into the ties of his hakama, he turned and bowed into the direction he remembered the ones he thought of as his "sisters" once stood.

_"Arigatou Kasumi, Akane and Sakura. Arigatou for looking after this unworthy one and guiding him on the path to happiness."_

With that, Kenshin hasten his steps back to Tokyo.

Daylight had started to wane. Kaoru cast her worried eyes into the clouds. Nightfall would soon be weaving it's dark shadows over the Kamiya dojo and yet Kenshin still hadn't return. Earlier, when she arrived at the dojo, she noticed that the laundry hadn't been touched and dinner wasn't prepared. Out of all the chores in the house, those were the ones that Kenshin enjoyed doing the most. When she expressed her concerns to Sano and Yahiko, they reassured her that Kenshin would return soon. However, deep down, the two youths also felt something amiss. They chose to conceal their suspicions rather than worry Kaoru even further.

"Mou! Where is that baka," vented the feisty young kendo teacher. "He should have been home hours ago!" She ranted while pacing the tatami floor.

"Calm down jou-chan, I know he'll be..."

"YOU'VE been saying that all day," she yelled shoving her bokken into the frightened ex-fighter for hire's face. "When are you two jerks going to admit that something has happened to Kenshin!"

"Kaoru is right. I think something has happend to Kenshin," Yahiko finally confessed. "It's not like him to stay away from us so long. Maybe he got attacked or something."

"Attacked," Kaoru repeated in horror. Her face suddenly grew pale. "He might be lying around hurt somewhere, thinking that we will come for him."

Sano let out an exasperated sigh. "Geez! Now look at what you've done! Jou-chan is going to start worrying over nothing. You really have a big mouth for such a little punk."

"Stop calling me LITTLE," Yahiko hollered.

Kaoru took her bokken and whacked both of the freeloading boarders on the head. "Why are you two standing around arguing! Kenshin could be in trouble somewhere. We have to find him!" She quickly headed toward the door.

"Hold on little missy," Sano called while nursing the large bump she thrust upon his head. "If we all go out to look for Kenshin, what will he think when he returns to the dojo and finds it empty?"

Kaoru halted in her tracks. After thinking it over what Sano said, she sighed in defeat. "I guess you have a point."

"Don't worry Kaoru, if Kenshin is still out there, we promise to bring him back safely."

A sad smile crossed the raven haired girl's face. "Thank you Yahiko... Sanosuke." With that, the two youths left the dojo in search of their missing friend.

For hours, Kaoru tried keeping herself occupied with menial tasks. However, the later it got, the more she worried. Grabbing a haori from her room, Kaoru threw it around her shoulders and went out to the front porch. After taking a seat, she noticed several fireflies in the yard. Seeing them only brought back painful memories. She put her hand over her heart as she recalled the worst day of her life.

**

FLASHBACK

**

_"...When I first met you... even though you knew I was Hitokiri Battousai, you kept me from leaving. "I don't care about a person's past," you said. I was very happy..."_

"...to the government and to Shishio's faction, to all the people who bear a grudge against Hitokiri Battousai, Battousai is all that I am. I cannot allow myself to remain here..."

(Kenshin suddenly pulls her into a warm embrace)

"...Arigatou for everything you've done... and farewell. Sessha is rurouni. Sessha will wander once again."

(He releases her from his embrace. Tears form in Kaoru's eyes then spills down her cheeks. She suddenly falls to her knees, whispering out his name...)

"Ken . . . shin."

**

END OF FLASHBACK

**

The broken hearted girl thrust her face into the palms of her hands and cried.

Several hours later, the former hitokiri returned. He used his stealth like skills to ease into the dojo gates in order to avoid disturbing the occupants of the house at such a late hour. As he rounded the corner, he noticed Kaoru sitting on the front porch fast asleep. The illumination from the stars seemed to glisten over her delicate features. His heart was warmed as he watched the woman he loved waiting on his return. The raven-haired girl suddenly shifted in her sleep. Kenshin noticed a frown growing upon her face.

_"Ken-shin,"_ she uttered softly followed by several tears.

The rurouni felt a pang of guilt as more tears trickled down the slumbering girl's cheeks.

_"I'm sorry for being the cause of your worries. I hope you can forgive this unworthy one."_

Kaoru's eyes began to flicker open. The figure standing before her slowly stepped into the light of the moon. Her heart skipped a beat upon recognizing the lone figure.

"I'm home Kaoru-dono."

The raven-haired girl sat up and smiled as she bowed her response.

"Welcome home Kenshin."

She slid over, gesturing for Kenshin to sit next to her. Kenshin gladly complied.

The two sat in a brief silence, neither one knowing what to say. Kaoru couldn't take the silence any longer. She spoke first.

"Kenshin..."

"Yes, Kaoru-dono?"

"You've been gone all day. I was worried sick about you."

"Sessha is sorry for worrying you Kaoru-dono, that he is."

"Where... were you," she asked biting her bottom lip.

Kenshin turned to face her. Kaoru cheeks suddenly tinted pink. She quickly averted her eyes to the ground.

"I'm sorry Kenshin. I have no right to ask you such personal things. I..." Kaoru suddenly froze midsentence when Kenshin took his finger and lifted her chin so as to face him.

"It is I who should apologize to you Kaoru-dono." He rested his hand over hers. "Sessha had many things to think about, that he did. This unworthy one felt he could never live a normal life. However, the sweet words of three courageous young girls helped this one to understand what it means to be happy."

"Three... girls," Kaoru softly repeated, fighting back the tears that began to well into the corner of her eyes.

"Yes," Kenshin answered, "Kasumi-san, Akane-san and Sakura-san. I met them when I was a small boy shortly after the death of my parents. I was sold to slavers and was traveling in a caravan with other slaves. A group of bandits attacked us. Kasumi-san, Akane-san and Sakura-san sacrificed their lives so that this unworthy one's life could be spared."

Tears began to stream down Kenshin's face. Kaoru lifted her hand to his scarred cheek to wipe away his tears as he spoke.

"They didn't deserve to be cut down like animals. If only I had been stronger back then, I could have saved them."

"Kenshin..." Kaoru wrapped her arms around him and cradled his head into her bosom. "You were but a mere child back then. It would have been difficult to stand against their swords. Kasumi-san, Akane-san and Sakura-san knew that. That is why they sacrificed their lives to protect you. They wanted you to live on and be happy." She gently nudged Kenshin back so that he could face her. She then rested her hand on the hilt of his sword.

"With this sword, you have secured peace and happiness for many people in the past. As you continue to use your sword to protect the happiness of others, I want to always be by your side to protect your happiness."

"Kaoru..." He wrapped his arms around her. A few moments later, he pulled apart from her. "This unworthy one would be most honored to have you remain by this ones' side." He then slipped his hand into the sleeve of his gi and pulled out the small pouch. Kaoru gave him a bewildering look as he took her left hand and empty the contents within her palm. Kaoru's eyes lit up as she held the sapphire and gold jeweled ring out before her.

"It's beautiful," she whispered as tears streamed down her face.

Without a word, Kenshin took the ring from her hand and slipped it on her finger. He then tilted her chin up with his finger so she could look at him.

"No... You are beautiful," he commented.

Kaoru blushed furiously and smiled. Kenshin moved closer to capture her lips with his own. The anxiety she felt earlier suddenly disappeared with his kiss. As kenshin deepened the kiss, he felt as if Kasumi, Akane, Sakura and Tomoe were all smiling for him.

_"Our little Shinta has finally learned how to accept happiness..."_

"and... how to love again."

**THE END**

GLOSSARY AND NOTES:

_Haori_: A lightweight silk jacket used to help keep the kimono clean and dry. It can also be used as an outer jacket.

**Author's Notes:** I'd like to thank all those who left a review (enroute, Xkenkao12x, Emily Rueckert, WCgirl, Jade Summers and SilverKitsune6291). Thanks for your great reviews and support. A special thanks for Goldangel2 for being the first reviewer. I really appreciate and are always honored when you review my stories. Thanks for your continued support. Special thanks also to kenshin's fan. I tried to email you to thank you personally but the email came back undeliverable. Please email me okay so we can chat. And to all those who didn't leave a review, Gypsy-chan thanks you too. I received 124 hits for the first chapter which makes me happy. Yipee !

Okay, that's it peeps! Hope you enjoyed this little ficcie. I know I wrote this one pretty waffy but hey, I love K/K waff. So don't send me your dental bills if you got cavities from reading this ficcie. Okay I've got to get back to updating my other ficcies. Until next time!


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